Edward Michael: November 2012

We are so sorry that this blog has not been updated since Edward's MRI results. Everything has been going well. Edward was scheduled to see Dr. Shields at Will's Eye Institute in Philadelphia on October 24th for his 1st eye exam post chemo. To say the least, my nerves were shot and I almost had a nervous breakdown the night before. His bags were packed, our coffee cups were out and ready and little man was alseep. I was suddenly left with 2 hours with my parents to watch t.v. and do nothing until it was time for bed. I tried to put on a happy face, but suddenly burst into tears. My dad even got me a Blue Moon to drink with him and talk, and I was crying so much that I was snotting all over my beer I couldn't even drink it. I wanted to write this to you all, because I know our little updates are always so optimistic. I know sometimes we sound like everything is fine, and we are just the cutest, strongest family. But, the reality is that we are NOT, and the only way we continue to get through this situation is by the help, support, and prayers from you, all of our friends and family. I was just so incredibly scared, and I had this terrible gut feeling that the cancer was spreading and we were about to walk into a chaos we have not yet seen. Do I have anxiety? YES. Is it somewhat expected? YES Am I going to be constantly worried about losing my little boy? YES. And I just don't know how to calm these fears, but to put on a happy face. You know " Keep Calm, and .........." I don't really know how to finish that sentence! SO I just wanted to say to you all who probably think I am naive and overly optimistic through this difficult time, that we truly have our constant worries, we always have the worst thoughts in the back of our minds, and we have no one else to thank except the Lord, our friends, and our family, for pushing these bad thoughts away at the darkest of times, and renewing our sense of hope. Without hope, we have nothing.

So, the next day after crying myself to sleep, we arrived at Will's Eye (me, my mom, and Eddie) to hear the most unexpected news. ALL THINGS ARE STABLE! Stable is what we need to hear. and to top that off, no treatment (laser) was needed. He basically just had an eye exam under general anesthesia. Could I really believe this? I totally tricked myself into believing that we were going to hear bad news that I was speechless. Dr. Shields looked me in the eye and said, "Mom, it is time to start enjoying toddlerhood." When she said that I immediately burst into tears. I have a toddler? I thought I just had a baby with cancer! Oh yes, we DO have a toddler! Anyway, both tumors were STABLE, meaning there was no re-growth or seeding (seeding is when the tumor produces and spits out baby tumors within the eye). Both things I was expecting to hear. I absolutely could not believe this news. Now, here I go again on my pessimist/realist outlook, that we certainly could here that news in the future, but as of right now, we are stable. We received a 2 1/2 to 3 month pass from Dr. Shields, meaning we do not have to come back until mid January. Can u believe it? She did get on me about patching and Eddie wearing his glasses. Both the patching of his good eye (to make his brain use the muscles in his weak eye) and the wearing of the glasses (for protection of the good right eye) are worthless moments at the Johnson household. He screams, yells, and rips off the patch or the glasses within a nanosecond of putting them on....... We have some work to do.... Time for some tough love Edward.

Also, Edward survived his first cold and horrible cough of the season, and he even recovered on his own without any medications (don't worry though, it's not like we didn't freak out! I had Michael check his lungs everyday, as well as Papa Johnson when we were in Augusta, and I propped up his mattress so he was sleeping on an incline, and I bought a Vicks Vaporizer that we used for a week straight! Overall, we were surprised, and relived that his little immune system was able to recover on its own.

On another note..... NO. MORE. BOTTLES!!!!! What a milestone. I don't know who is happier, me, Eddie, or Mike!!! Ahhh it has been a somewhat smooth transition so far, and we have been bottle-less for a week now, and little man has not even asked for one. So, pumped! NO. MORE. FORMULA! Enfamil Enfacare, you did your job for many months, but I am not sad to see you go.

So, the last two weeks were spent traveling. We spent a week in Doylestown with my parents for his eye exam. Then, Eddie and I drove back to Charlottesville, only to spend one night sleeping in our own beds, to then pack up and leave the next day (this time with Daddy!) to go to Augusta, GA for a week to spend time with the Johnson side of the family. Eddie had a blast! Here are some picture, hopefully in order including Doylestown pumpkin patch, playing with his cousins in GA, Halloween with the Johnson clan, and topping it off by enjoying Aunt Christine and Uncle Conrad's wedding.

Reading with Uncle Danny before bed!

Me, Eddie and Daisy!

GOoooooooooooooooooo IRISH!

"Mom, I want this one!" Ummmmmmm no!

Oooooooo scarey!

CHEEEEEEEEEEESE!

A tractor and a giant pumpkin, just what a little boy wants to see :)

Whoa! PUMPKINS!

Farmer Eddie!

Walking Daisy all by himself.

So proud of himself!

Trying to hook her leash on her tail! haha

Awwww!

Pet number 45 of the day! He loves her! And she tolerates him!

Hi Grammy!

Hanging out on the front lawn.....

Haha!

Again, he is hooking her leash to her tail! Daisy you are sooooo good!

Holy pumpkin!

"Mom, why did you make me sit here?"

SCARECROWS!!!!!!!!

Mmmmm! Yummy! Mini-pumpkins!

Walking with Grammy....

AND, here we are in Augusta, GA........ Two cousins riding around. Cameron was so sweet and held Eddie's hand as he drove around! Sweet boys!