Groundhog Day

February 2nd has come and gone, but our lives right now are starting to feel like we are stuck in the movie Groundhog Day (This is Katie, by the way!).  Sometimes we feel like we are going crazy! This past weekend, we wanted nothing more than to kidnap Edward from the hospital, just for the afternoon, to watch the Masters.  Michael wanted so badly to have Edward sitting on his lap, perhaps a beer in hand (Michael’s that is) watching golf! Instead we drove to the hospital and had this conversation:

Me: (Looking out the window) What do you think I would have to do to get readmitted to the hospital?
Mike:  (With a puzzled look) I don’t know, what do you mean?
Me: (Smiling) Like, if I cut my finger, do you think I could get readmitted to the hospital?
Mike: No, you would probably have to cut your finger OFF to get readmitted.
Me:  (Intrigued) Oh, really?  And how long do you think I would be in the hospital if I need reattachedment surgery?
Mike:  Probably a couple days….
Me:  (Disappointed) Oh, darn…. That’s all?  I guess that’s not really worth it, is it?
Mike:  (Rolling his eyes at me) You are thinking of cutting off your finger?
Me:  (Laughing) It would just be nice to be back in the hospital to be closer to Edward.
Mike: (In a matter of fact way) You are crazy….
Me:  (In an equally matter of fact way) We already knew this.

Yesterday, Edward had his first eye exam since the surgery. The ophthalmologist checked his eyes thoroughly and said that his eyes are already looking better!  The twisted and disorganized blood vessels are starting to smooth out. He will check again next Tuesday but that is great news for Edward!

Up next on the docket, eating!  We are anxiously waiting for Edward to gain full control of the suck, swallow and breathe process.  This, they say, will come with both time and practice. He is trying both breastfeeding and bottle feeding.  During some attempts he performs beautifully, and other attempts poorly.  He often forgets to breathe when he is swallowing, which results in an oxygen desaturation or an A/B episode.  He also deals with reflux on a regular basis, which sometimes makes him not enjoy eating! The speech therapist is working with Edward, giving him a bottle every morning. They say it is a lightbulb effect and suddenly things will start to click.  We are very hopeful and are awaiting that moment!

Yesterday, another NICU mom burst into tears and said, “I can’t believe I have been in the NICU with my baby for 2 weeks!”  I tried to console her while trying to not claw her eyes out like an enraged squirrel (did I just say that?).  She blinked and wiped away her sweet tears and asked me, “How long have you been here?”  I don’t know if she felt amazed or scared when I replied with a smile, “85 days, but who's counting?”  It feels like a blur, and it all seems to be the same day over and over again.  But when Edward looks around with his beautiful eyes and sweet smile, it just melts my heart.  Michael and I will get through 85 more NICU days if we have to, because we are just so grateful to have our baby Edward in the first place.  When I am feeling particularly crazy (like amputating my own finger) I have to calm myself by thinking that he has come a long, long way.  Our 6 lb 6 oz boy amazes us every day. All I can do is try to be patient.  In the meantime, I will try not to scare the other NICU moms!